Find more information about: ISBN: 2281 OCLC Number: 759836592 Notes: Originally published: 2004. Description: 1 online resource (x, 165 pages) Contents: So you got knocked up?

(getting pregnant) -- Honey, your sperm really do work! (pregnancy test) -- Barf-o-rama (morning sickness) -- Niagara in my pants (vaginal discharge) -- Psycho chick (hormonal rage) -- Holy shit, I think I hard-boiled my baby! (taking hot baths) -- Granny panties (letting go of the g-string) -- I can either pee on you or you can get the hell out of my way! (frequent pee breaks) -- Passing stonehenge (constipation) -- Is it a penis or a vagina?

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(finding out the sex) -- Can I have a mustard sandwich with pickles, anchovies, peanut butter, and a little cottage cheese? Oh, and throw a few fish sticks on there!

(cravings) -- Where in the hell can I find a muumuu? (nothing to wear) -- Freddy Kruger ain't got nothing on me! (dreams) -- Is that an apple on your rectum, or are you happy to see me? (hemorrhoids) -- Hi, porn star! (engorged breasts) -- Ready and squeeze. Your kegels (an exercise for the vagina) -- Well, it's not 1972 anymore! (baby boomers explaining how it was in their day) -- Did a sewer tank explode, or did you just fart?

(gas) -- Hands off, dude! (strangers touching your belly) -- I can't see! I'm bleeding! I can't stand it! (weird and painful bits and pieces) -- Www.ihavetostopbuyingbabyshit.com (on-line baby stores) -- Is it hot in here or is it just me? It's just me (hot flashes and fainting spells) -- Oh, oh, oh, oh, oooooooohhhhhhh!

I'll take another one of those please! (orgasms in pregnancy) -- The crying game (hormonal blues) -- So, anyway, like I was saying. Wait, what was I saying? (wandering mind) -- Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the prettiest pregnant lady of them all? Clearly not you, lady! (face acne and rashes) -- It's a bird! It's a plane!!

No, it's a really swollen pregnant lady! (water retention) -- The McRib sandwich (back pain) -- Headaches (headaches. Duh) -- That ain't my ass! (cellulite gain) -- No, not yet! I'm not ready for this yet! (premature labor) -- Poopin' on the table (the dark side of delivery) -- The blue twinkies (your swollen vagina) -- Die, model bitch, die!

(hating skinny people -- Ooooh! I think I felt the baby move. Or maybe it's just gas (baby kicks) -- Organizing freak (your nesting instinct) -- Breathing for dummies (Lamaze) -- What the fu*k are these? (stretch marks) -- I just need to lie down for, like, five minutes.

Okay, maybe three months (sleepiness) -- Pig in the pasture (sex in the ninth month) -- The moment of truth (labor and delivery) -- Let me repeat (husband no no's). Responsibility: Jenny McCarthy. More information: • Abstract. 'This girl is funny.If you need a good laugh, then pick this one up.' --Times Herald Record 'Prepare yourself for more than a few laugh-out-loud moments when Jenny serves up the insights you rarely read about.'

--eDiets.com 'Hilarious.' --Playboy 'Frank and humorous.' --Miami Herald 'Brutally honest and funny in a way the other pregnancy books wouldn't dare.' --Carolina Parent 'A no-holds-barred account.Ideal for anyone who is pregnant, plans to become pregnant or has ever been pregnant.'

--Los Angeles Family 'A book for the expectant mother who needs a few moments of frivolity.' --Hudson Valley News 'Jam packed with side splitting stories.The cool part about the book is that it doesn't really matter if you have 1 kid or 10 or if you're a guy or a girl.

McCarthy's book has a little something for everyone.Graphic yet hysterical stories.A fun quick read that both you and your significant other can enjoy.' --MediaMikes.com 'One of the most honest, funny accounts I've read of pregnancy to date.' --Always Aubrey Read more.